Family Systems

     In class we have been talking about family systems theory. A systems theory is a theory that an intimate group must be analyzed as a whole. So in a family system we are analyzing the family as a whole, their interactions together, and how they function. What is it that sets one family apart from another family? The discussions have been very interesting regarding families and the way that they function. On Wednesday we came to class prepared with unwritten rules that our families had growing up; things that we automatically knew, or assumed, that we should/should not do. It was fun to hear some of the rules from members of the class and see how a lot of them were very similar to what I learned growing up.


      For example, some of the "unwritten" rules that I came up with for my family when I was younger, just a couple of fun things, were:
         1. If you want something, ask dad first because he almost always says yes and mom almost always says no.
         2. When mom leaves town, unless me or my sister volunteered to make the dinner, we would eat spam because that's what dad would make.
         3. Everyone had "their" seat at the dinner table, and if someone else sat there then an argument would ensue.
         4. If you were the first one awake on Saturday you got to choose the cartoons. "If you snooze, you lose" kind of deal.

        Those were just a few of the things I could come up with. It's interesting how in our families we are raised with certain beliefs, or ideas, about how things are done. We grow accustomed to our surroundings, and the way of doing things. As I have studied in my classes these past couple of semesters I have learned a lot about the adjustments that couples have to make when first entering a marriage. Both spouses grew up in different homes, different families, different lifestyles. It's not until someone new comes into the picture that they realize how different other families are. This is where the study of family systems can be helpful, as we take a look at the causes and effects of the family working together as a system.

         With the things that I have learned this week in class I can look at my family and how we interact with each other, the relationships that each member of my family has with another member, and the ways in which we function. I am grateful for my family, and the healthy relationships that we have. My family may be completely different from other families, but I love my family and I feel like the system we have in our family works for us and makes us happy individually and together.